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Sonic For Hire: Sonic Knuckles Transcript
Sonic: Sweet, it worked! But how do I know I'm in the right year? Knuckles: HEY, SONIC! DON'T JUST STAND THERE! LET'S GET RADICAL ALL OVER ROBOTNIK! HE THINKS HE'S ALL DAT N' A BAG OF CHIPS! Sonic: ...Safe to say I'm in the 90's. Knuckles: DAYUM SKIPPY! AND EVERYTHING IS EXTREME!! C'MON! LET'S THROW OURSELVES INTO THE ENGINE AND BLOW IT UP! THROWIN' AND BLOWIN'! Sonic: Throwin' and blowin'...? That was never a thing. Knuckles: DON'T GO THERE, BEYOTCH! Sonic: Aaaand the novelty's worn off. Let's get this over with. Eggman: This isn't the end of the Robotnikmeister! I've got an army of Badniks, a top notch laboratory with a flawless septic system, not to mention my ''perfectly ''fitting cotton dockers, I vow to destroy you and become the most feared mad scientist in ALL THE WORLD! *obnoxious laughter* Knuckles: WE'RE ON TOP OF DA WORLD! LET'S CELEBRATE! FOLLOWIN' AND SWALLOWIN'! Sonic: What is THAT one?!? Knuckles: YOU KNOW, FOLLOWIN' THE GIRLS INTO DA CLUB, AN' SWALLOWIN' CHAMPAI- (cut off by Sonic) Sonic: Stop, stop, stop, I don't care. I gotta go save my future. By the way, this is as good as it gets for you. You end up owning a 2nd rate burger joint I burn down with my crack pipe. Later, dork. INT. Tails' Apartment Sonic: Hey, Tails, this is going to sound crazy, but I'm from the future and I need you to not put my money in that Dreamcast Stock! Tails: Okay, bu- (cut off by Sonic) Sonic: Before you ask, it's pretty awesome. We got a black president, you do a bunch of cool shit on your cell phone, only annoying thing is a bunch of celebrities got rich and famous by doing nothing. Tails: Okay, but what happens to me? Sonic: You got rich and famous by doing nothing. Tails: ''AWESOME! ''Why would I want to mess with that?! Sonic: Uuuuhhh... It's because uhhh... You know Brandy...? (Tails says "Right." while Sonic describes) Well, you fuck her brother and you video tape it (Tails says " Who, Ray J?" while Sonic still describes) and everyone sees it, and you become super popular for some reason. Tails: That doesn't sound right... Sonic: Yeah. Tell me about it. Anyways, our lives go to shit real quick in a couple of years so, give me my money back. Tails: It's too late, I already invested it. Sonic: FUCK! UUUuuuuhhh... OH! I know! Put the money in Microsoft and Apple and find some weirdo named Zuckerberg and get him laid or something. I'm going to talk to some video game people to make sure we get in the right games and when we get back, we'll be rich to the EXTREME!! BLANG, BLANG! DAMNIT!! I gotta get out of the 90's. INT. Outside and inside of Sonic the Hedgehog's Pleasure Paladice Sonic: Aw FUCK YEAH! This is more like it! Alright, nice, uh, nice art on the wall, needs a little more erotica, but mmm alright. Alright, let's see what's on the old boobtube. Narrator(?): We interrupt this broadcast of "Poster Show" for a very important speech from the Madame President of the United States. Potato: Hello, Ues.. U.S. of America... Where the hell is my martini bucket...? I gotta take a crap.. Sonic: Hm. This should be interesting. Category:Season 6 Category:Transcript pages